Why true love waits

Another 13 percent have not had sex in the past three months and are not considered to be sexually active. A decline in teen pregnancies has also occurred during the same period. Pregnancy rates for teenagers have decreased 17 percent from , and abortion rates have dropped by 31 percent since This information should encourage and support policy makers and parents who believe that adolescents can understand and respond to messages about abstinence and marriage.

In a nationwide study of 1, college women, 39 percent said "they have not had sexual intercourse"; that is, they have remained virgins.

In a recent report, the government's National Center for Health Statistics said the teen pregnancy rate for females aged fifteen to nineteen declined 19 percent from to , the most recent year for which data are available. That trend reversed an 11 percent increase in teen pregnancies from to More than three-fourths of all teen pregnancies are unintended and out of wedlock.

More than half of the pregnancies result in birth, and very few of those babies are put up for adoption. Of the rest, 30 percent are terminated by abortion; 14 percent end in miscarriage. The most recent trends show the overall birthrate to teens aged fifteen to nineteen declined by 18 percent from to and teen birthrates have fallen in every state and across ethnic and racial groups.

In , for girls aged fifteen to seventeen, the birthrate of thirty births for every 1, was a record low. In addition, pregnancy rates for this group are at the lowest level since , the earliest year for which such data are available.

For fifteen to nineteen year olds, the pregnancy rate decreased by approximately 15 percent between and the latest year available. The abortion rate declined by 22 percent over the same period and the share of pregnancies ending in abortion fell.

Similarly, repeat births among teens declined by 21 percent from to , when nearly 18 percent of teen mothers had a second child. At least one poll found that, regarding sexual matters, the majority of the more than 1, teens questioned held conservative opinions. Almost half said that sex before marriage is "always wrong" 53 percent of girls, 41 percent of boys.

Fifty-eight percent of boys and 47 percent of girls said that homosexuality is "always wrong. Here are a couple of interesting highlights: Sexual abstinence among teens is increasing. Nearly two-thirds 65 percent of students surveyed said they have not yet had sexual intercourse. In , 54 percent of students surveyed reported never having intercourse. More students would advise others to wait. Seventy-three percent of survey respondents would advise classmates to postpone sexual intercourse until they are older or married.

In , 62 percent of survey respondents said they would give postponement advice. A recent survey of teens, published in the May issue of YM Young and Modern , revealed the pleasantly surprising results that many teens are indeed learning to say no to premarital sex. Sixty-eight percent of the teens surveyed said they were virgins. Eighty-seven percent of the girls said that, among their closest peers, being a virgin is admired, and 62 percent of the boys said the same.

Most encouraging of the survey's results was the fact that 44 percent of the teens said they had made a conscious decision to delay intercourse until they are "majorly in love or married.

But even as it stands, the statement indicates that teens are at least rethinking the free-love philosophy that has prevailed over the last generation. As responsible parents, pastors, teachers, and youth workers, we need to come alongside our young people and help them move even further away from the dangerous "anything goes" view in our culture and bring them back into line with God's best for their lives.

There are many. In a survey of college-age men and women, all virgins, respondents gave four basic reasons they had not engaged in sexual relations. One quarter of teens surveyed 26 percent said the main reason why teens don't have sex is because of religion, morals, and values. The numbers in parentheses represent the rank order of the reasons given.

Hearts Broken, Hopes Shattered Before you break out the sparkling cider and toast the demise of the sexual revolution, be aware that the promising trend is still quite small.

While we are encouraged that the abstinence message has made some headway among our youth, we are not out of the woods by any means. A few more may be waiting, but those who choose not to wait are yet in peril of the physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational dangers of premarital sex. For example, the National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy recently reported: "While the percentage of high schoolers who say they've had sexual intercourse is falling 55 percent in , compared to 68 percent in , more are catching sexually transmitted diseases, especially gonorrhea and chlamydia.

Without solid reasons to wait, too many of our young people are still plunging headlong into sexual activity unaware of the harvest of pain and heartache they will reap. Many of them started out like Derek and Annie, whose stories opened this chapter. They had been told that premarital sex is wrong, but they struggled to understand why true love waits. So they eventually gave in and found their answers the hard way.

The effects of premarital sex can be detrimental. I talk to the victims everywhere I go. These students are crying out because they are hurt, disillusioned, and despairing after premarital sex. My heart breaks for them and for the countless numbers of students who, like Derek and Annie, are yet teetering on the precipice, needing answers to the driving question, Why should true love wait?

Look into the pain-filled hearts of several young people who have intimately shared with me the emotional pain they have suffered after deciding not to wait for sex until marriage. The poignant comments below can be multiplied by literally thousands of students who have written our ministry to express similar heartbreaking experiences with premarital sex: Premarital sex gave me fear as a gift.

It stole my peace of mind and robbed me of hope in a bright future. Sex smashed my concentration in class to smithereens. My desire for church activities was ground to a pulp. It made crumbs of the trust I had known in Christ. Sex gave me a jagged tear in my heart that even now, seven years later, is still healing. McDowell, Can you help me? I'm thirteen and I've just ruined my life.

I thought Mike really loved me, but last night we had sex for the first time and this morning he told my girlfriend that he didn't want to see me anymore. I thought giving Mike what he wanted would make him happy and he'd love me more. What if I'm pregnant? What am I going to do? I feel so alone and confused. I can't talk to my parents, so could you please write me back and help me.

I don't know how I can go on. It wasn't at all the emotionally satisfying or the casually taken experience the world perceives it to be. I felt as if my insides were being exposed and my heart left unattended. It's not a TV soap opera either. The reality of pregnancy outside of marriage is scary and lonely. To have premarital sex was my choice one hot June night, forcing many decisions I thought I would never have to make. Those decisions radically changed my life. He said he loved me too.

But after we did it, he called me all sorts of names and left me. The reason I am writing is, I don't understand this. We went together for months and I thought we had something special. I really need help. I have this feeling that no one cares about me, and no matter what I do I am not able to make any man happy.

If it's not too much trouble, could you write me back and tell me what to do? I'd appreciate it. My boyfriend kept pursuing me for sex. I had sex with him thinking that I owed it to him. Later when I learned I was pregnant he blew up, said to get an abortion, and that it was all my fault. So, to save my parents heartache and to keep Matt, I had an abortion. Now Matt has left me. How can God love me after all I have done? Could you please write back?

I'm just so confused. Can God really love and forgive me? He knows Bill and I haven't slept together, and he's basically told me I'm too Victorian. But what really hurt was his accusation that there's something wrong with anyone who doesn't want to have sex before marriage. I didn't know what to say. The following student told her story in the third person. Consider the heartache she felt when her lips said yes as her heart was saying no: She was extremely young, but she didn't feel young.

It seemed like such a mature jump. She really loved being and "acting" older. She thought everything was great! She was an honor student and was also very involved in extracurricular activities. She loved to do things and share deep, dark secrets with her best friend.

She had a good family and her parents taught her well the difference between right and wrong. She was sensible and had a good head on her shoulders. He was older than she and extremely popular. He was very talented and was always the center of attention. She was overwhelmed with joy when he started to pay special attention to her. She was so pleased when he picked her as a girlfriend, rather than any of the other girls who would have died for the chance.

One day he told her, "I love you. She did not love him, yet she adored the popularity he gained for her. Wishlist Wishlist. Advanced Search Links. Product Close-up. Add To Cart. It's no secret that our culture places immense pressure on young people to be sexually active before marriage.

In this updated and revised edition of his classic Why Wait? We still need to beat the drum of purity. We still need to teach young people to wait. Because true love still waits. Everyone before the throne will have faced temptation. Never run out of your ministry necessities again. Autoship allows you to shop and schedule the regular delivery of select books, Bibles, and church supplies. Select Autoship to set-up automatic orders for this product.

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